Change Your Language, Change Your Life

How getting rid of ONE little nasty word can completely change your life.


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Let’s get real: I have a potty mouth. I know and use almost all of the naughty words (except for slurs) and can get pretty creative when it comes to combinations. Almost every year , I pledge to stop swearing as much or if I’m feeling really ambitious I decide that I’m just going to go cold turkey. It never works. I’ve usually dropped a good F Bomb or two by noon and completely given up by five. So maybe I’m just meant to cuss. However, I recently discovered one nasty little four letter word that I can eliminate from my vocabulary. The word? Have. As in I HAVE to go to work. I HAVE to pay my rent/mortgage. I HAVE to call my mom.

You might be thinking that this is a completely harmless word and you might be right. But in my case, the word have comes with that nagging feeling of obligation. It’s that thing that you don’t really want to do but know is necessary for whatever reason. When you HAVE to do something, it's almost never fun. This all came to me as I was standing in line at my bank to get a cashier’s check (I ran out of personal checks and I’m not a real adult so I didn’t pre order more) to pay my rent. I was standing in line, complaining in my head that I have to give them this funky check every month when there are so many other things I could do with that money. Perhaps I was in a particularly good mood that day or maybe I had a good breakfast because suddenly it dawned on me: I don’t have to do this, I GET to do this.

Starting that day, I replaced have with get and my entire outlook changed. I don’t have to go to work, I get to go to work. I don’t have to go to church, I’m simply blessed to see another Sunday where I get to attend a worship service. Coming from a place gratitude as opposed to looking at certain tasks as a burden changed me in so many ways. I found myself being kinder, more patient, and more grateful. On a daily basis, we all take so much for granted and, for me, exchanging that one small word for an even smaller one made me realize how incredibly lucky I am.

My Life Is NOT On Fleek

Don't let Instagram fool you, none of us know what we're doing...

Zero fleek was used in the creation of this image

Do you ever look at your favorite blogger or vlogger and think, "I wish I had her life"? I mean who wouldn't, it's perfect. Her twist and curl is always super defined, her wardrobe is full of quirky pieces that just seem to go with her amazing personality, every dish she prepares or eats looks professionally plated, and if she has kids, they are the most fashionable and well behaved images of cuteness you have ever seen. Shit, I want that life. It looks fucking awesome. Too bad it doesn't exist.

You guys already know this but no one has a perfect life. Bloggers and social media stars present the BEST of their lives because it's their job. I personally would rather see a woman running around the city in her fabulous clothes a la Carrie Bradshaw than a woman crying into a pint chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (my favorite) over her latest lost love (coincidentally also in the vein of Carrie Bradshaw, homegirl was a MESS). We gravitate towards these images because they are a distraction from the cares of real life but don't get too invested in it. Because it's not real. Never delude yourself into thinking that someone's life or situation is better than  yours. Because honestly none of us know what we're doing, we're just frontin' for the 'gram.

Until Next Time....



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