Your Twist Out Sucks, Here's Why

It's been almost seven years and I think I've got this twist out down.

Okay, so your twist out doesn't suck. I would never say or think that. You're amazing and beautiful and wonderful. But maybe your twist out just isn't giving you life or acting right. I went through the same issue until I started experimenting and came up with this fail proof, step by step, twist out system. If you're struggling like I was, I hope this helps!

 This is the easiest sep by step guide for success!

This is the easiest sep by step guide for success!

First things first, It's not about the products. I'll tell you what I used but it's not the main factor in twist out success. This is all about the technique. The #flickadawrist if you will.

Products Used

G Naturals Mango Mend Leave In | Soultanicals Can't Believe It's Not Butta | WonderCurl Get Slick Hair Smoothie

1. I start on Freshly washed and moisturized hair. My hair holds a curl better and looks much nicer when it's clean.

2. I like my twist outs with definition AND volume. If you want more definition, twist your hair while wet. If your prefer volume, style on dry hair. I try to style my hair that's about 85% dry and fairly stretched. This prevents tangles and gives me the shape that I love. I get the big hair look without sacrificing the curls I love.

3. Now I prefer flat twists over regular, two strand twists because I love the curl that they give. That being said, there's an art to flat twisting your hair. Parts and sections should be neat but not perfect. I try not to take from other sections while I'm twisting and twist smaller sections for tighter curls.

4. When you take down your twists, there is no need to add extra product or oil. It doesn't reduce frizz, it's just more product. I simply make sure my twists are dry, take them down gently and fluff! Easy peasy!

Hopefully this helps you all on your journey to the perfect twist out!

 

 

Battle of the (Shampoo) Bars

I feel like we're at the point where we know each other so hopefully you all know that I don't push products that I don't believe in. It's really as simple as that. If it isn't something that's going to benefit my lovely readers then its not the move. Simple as that. And if you have been following me for long enough, you've seen me post about My Fluffy Puffs products before. When I tell y'all I stan for this brand, I mean I STAN for it. It's black owned and operated, woman owned and operated, they move with integrity, and the customer service/shipping is on fleek. Not to mention that the products are bomb (btw this isn't paid or sponsored, I just really love their products). The hair care brand recently dropped a new Shampoo/Body bar which was supposed to be a limited run but it has been hinted that the Lavish Bar would make a comeback. That being said, I though It would only be appropriate to do a review comparing the new Lavish Bar to my old faithful Rhassoul Bar by My Fluffy Puffs. I'll go through point by point and hClopefully you can decide which one you would like to try.

Cleansing

Hands down the lavish bar cleaned my scalp and hair more than the Rhassoul Clay Bar. As a matter of fact there was no need to do a second was with the lavish bar as the first time did the trick. The lavish bar created suds immediately while the rhassoul clay bar didn't get "soapy" until the second shampoo. This is probably due to the activated charcoal in the lavish bar which helps detoxify.

Moisturizing

On the other end, the Rhassoul Clay bar maintained my hair's moisture and didn't strip my stands which was nice. I don't do a deep clean on my hair every time I wash so this gentle cleanse is appreciated. When using the Rhassoul Clay bar, I can have a lazier wash day because I don't have to incorporate as much deep conditioning.

Curl Poppage

Understanding that poppage isn't a real word but I feel like we see each other here. Which one of these shampoos gave my curls the more bounce and definition? The Lavish Bar. I think because it was so cleansing, my hair was free from product build up which can weigh down strands.

Overall Thoughts

The Rhassoul bar is still bae and I feel like it's something that I can keep in rotation for my weekly washes. My hair always feels soft, clean, and moisturized after using it. I would keep the lavish bar the once a month detoxifying wash that I do which helps my scalp and hair stay fresh and clean.

Which bar are you interested in trying out?

 

 

Slow Is Beautiful

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I really wish I could express my contempt for fast fashion. It's deep. And it's real. As a student of product development (an expensive way of saying fashion design), I hated listening to professors list of the social, economic, and environmental ramifications of cheaply produced, on trend clothing because who are you to tell me that my latest Forever 21 shopping spree is terrible on every level? To a broke college student, there was no better feeling than being able to buy an entire night out look for less than fifty dollars week after week.

As I get older, I've realized the importance of taking it slow and how there is beauty in that. I used to walk everywhere fast, talk fast, eat as if someone was going to still my food (actually I still do that), and get annoyed at anyone who didn't move at my neck breaking pace. How dare they move at a reasonable pace? Don't they understand that life is short? Now, I find myself wanting to appreciate every moment, even the small ones. I've been loving boredom lately: taking the time to breathe and think and feel has become a hobby. I used to love the instant gratification of fast: fast fashion, fast relationships, fast food. Now, more and more, I realize that slow is beautiful.

Dress | Coat | Shoes | Earrings

Cheap, Chic, + Cheerful

I enjoy long romantic walks through the clearance section and to the bank.

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It seems like everyday I read an article or blog post about how millennials are financially doomed. Let's face it, costs of living are going up, wages are stagnant, and we're all essentially screwed, Honestly, most people my age are struggling and buying the most luxury fashions is not on the top of most people's priority list.

That being said I refuse to give up on being cute. Lately, I've been focusing on building a staple wardrobe with pieces that can be worn time and again without drawing attention and adding very few "statements" or conversation pieces. A huge help to adding fun and trendy items has been Rent the Runway Unlimited. I initially was put off by the price of the service but I have found it to be really helpful in enhancing my style and honestly it's well worth the cost and much cheaper than buying individual pieces. 

Overall, this look was less than $100 when you factor in the cost of the unlimited service and each piece can be worn in separate looks.

*all items wer bought on super clearance, in store

Coat | Sweater (similar) | Pants | Shoes 

Sporty Spice

Tired of playing dress up.

  heels just weren't cutting it.

heels just weren't cutting it.

  I can't remember the last time I dressed up sneakers.

I can't remember the last time I dressed up sneakers.

 Channeling my second favorite member of my second favorite 90s girl group.

Channeling my second favorite member of my second favorite 90s girl group.

First of all, I didn't realize how damn white this look was until looking at the pictures. Ya girl was out here shining bright like a diamond. Secondly, I really can't tell you how good it felt to be cute AND comfortable. My feet didn't hurt for one second and I wasn't worried about my shapewear showing AND I still looked dressed to go somewhere. This was an all-around win and I'm already trying to figure out when I can wear it again.

Dress | Shoes

 

When I Was Insecure, I was Tasha...

Why you bother me when you know you don't want me? In loving memory of Tasha, the girl I used to be.

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The popularity of Insecure, especially amongst black Millennials, comes as no surprise to this (old) black millennial. The HBO show is relatable on almost every level and much like Sex and the City it provides a character for every woman to claim as "her". In each episode I see myself. I've been Molly struggling to express myself in therapy, I've been Issa unhappy and unfulfilled at a thankless job, I've been the bougie friend who thinks she's better than everyone because she's in a seemingly successful relationship, and as much as I hate to admit it, when I was REALLY insecure, I was Tasha.

We all know a Tasha. And if we're being completely honest with ourselves most of us have been a Tasha. She's the girl who's too cute to deal with the mess that she does, she's too nice in not so nice situations, and she's agreeable in every way because she's been told to be agreeable. Everything is cool with her. He didn't call when he said he would? Cool. Forgot about that date y'all scheduled? Cool. He can never hang out in the light of day? Cool. She's cool because cool girls don't stress dudes out and cool girls get chose. Except for when they don't. Because despite being cool with all the ridiculousness she's also desperately extra. Taking selfies on first dates to post on Instagram and constantly trying to have the "what are we?" conversation without actually having it are hardly the way to anyone's heart. And yet Tasha perseveres. She tricks herself into believing that the dude giving her the goods Friday through Sunday is "The One" worthy of her time and attention and over looks all of the fuck boy qualities because he's a nice guy meaning that he's not the most egregious asshole she's ever met because Tasha's standards are dumb low. 

If you're up in your feelings right about now it's probably because you've been a Tasha. If I could recoup the hours that I spent chasing dudes that were clearly not interested in me or only interested in certain parts of me I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would waste so much time and energy projecting my ideas of what a man should be onto every guy I met to the point that I just knew that we were meant to be. Cute, check. Job, check. Car, check. He has a pulse, check. Well, if he fills out all of those boxes, then he'd obviously be great in a relationship and he's clearly meant for me. What I didn't realize was that I was looking for validation from outside sources instead of finding it in myself. I didn't feel worthy of my own love so I sought it from others who weren't willing to give it to me but pretended that they were. They were emotionally available to the point that I felt a connection but not enough for me to get comfortable in which ultimately left me feeling empty and dumb as hell.

I wish I could tell you the exact moment that I decided to stop letting fuck boys live in my mental space but I can't. I just got tired of being tricked by myself and by them. That's when I stopped running to the phone every time it rang and accepting every invitation to chill. It was freeing. It was about as satisfying as Tasha informing Lawrence that he's been wearing the "good guy" costume this whole time.

Reclaiming My Time

Taking a page from the book of Maxine Waters and reclaiming my time.

 This is how you stand when someone's wasting your time and you're about to snatch it back.

This is how you stand when someone's wasting your time and you're about to snatch it back.

Last week, Representative Maxine Waters of California pretty much stopped the world when she boldly and unapologetically spoke the now infamous words, "Reclaiming My Time" in an effort to stop a man who was, essentially, trying to waste it. When the offending gentleman protested against this proclamation, Rep. Waters got a bit deeper and explained to him that, "when you are on my time, I can reclaim it". It was at this moment that Black Twitter imploded and the foolery began. With memes, gifs, album covers, and gospel remakes galore the gentlewoman from California basically broke the internet machine a la Beyonce circa 2013. While I participated in the shenanigans and still listen to the gospel remix as part of my morning regimen (because motivation) I started to think about those three words on a deeper level.

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In an effort to live more intentionally and rid myself of some pretty nasty anxiety I've been cutting out things, people, and habits that do not serve a purpose in my life. This means giant closet purges, being disciplined enough to avoid sinkholes that would lead self-destructive behavior (that's a work in progress) and enacting a firm "Stay over there. No, further away, please" policy. Honestly, it's not fun and can feel terribly isolating but I know every time I distance myself from someone or something, I'm making room for something better. With all of these changes, I still find myself feeling like all of my time is being stolen from me. Morning rushes into afternoon and afternoon melts into the night and next thing you know I've gone another day without accomplishing anything meaningful. 

So now, it only makes sense that I reclaim my precious time. You know, that thing you can never get back? As a chronic procrastinator and people pleaser, I watch my time run away from me on a daily basis. Should I do that thing that will actually add value to my life or scroll on Instagram for two and a half hours? That person is calling you again and whats you to basically work for free? Go ahead and answer and tell them yes because people's opinion of you matters. Recently I have come to realize that I am allowed to be selfish and meticulous with my time. Hell, even downright miserly. Because it's mine and when you're on my time I can reclaim it.

Top | Pants | Shoes (old)

What or who are you reclaiming your time from?

How To Be Basic

Because slaying all day is getting difficult.

 Let me count the ways in which I do not slay on a regular basis.

Let me count the ways in which I do not slay on a regular basis.

 I could get caught up in trying to live the perfect IG life OR I could actually live.

I could get caught up in trying to live the perfect IG life OR I could actually live.

 Oh, you know, just over her not doing the most.

Oh, you know, just over her not doing the most.

Hi, I'm basic. That's really all. I'm not snatched 24/7. My closet isn't a revolving door of Fashion Nova pieces and other fast fashion boutiques (although they DO have some cute clothes). I wear makeup maybe once a week and more often than not my eyebrows look like distant cousins. I don't wear waist trainers because I like to breathe and most importantly EAT comfortably. Sometimes I wear the same shirt three times in a week because washing machines exist. I don't "slay all day". I slay about two percent of the time. I'm pretty okay with that.

Dress | Shirt | Shoes

Foundation for a Bomb AF Wash and Go

"They" don't want type 4 hair to do a wash and go so we gonna do a wash and go.

 The wash and go out in full effect

The wash and go out in full effect

Once upon a time not long ago I was afraid of wash and gos. I was afraid of the shrinkage, the detangling time, the inevitable weird looks I would get because Tracee Ellis Ross I am not.

Fast forward to summer 2017 and I'm pretty sure this the only thing I want to do with my curls until September. Seriously it's so EASY. That being said, healthy hair is the foundstion for a successful wash and go. What is healthy hair?

 Believe it or not type 4 Hair can do a wash and go!

Believe it or not type 4 Hair can do a wash and go!

Healthy Hair is Moisturized

Have you ever neglected your hair and stopped moisturizing? It's okay: It's happened to the best of us. The aftermath is horrendous. The breakage. The fallout. The dryness. It's terrible. Ever tried to do wash and go on dry hair. Double trouble. Dry hair will leave you more prone to tangles and your curls will not be on point.

Healthy Hair Has Healthy Ends

Trim Ya Ends! This is every natural girl's struggle: keep those dead ends and flaunt that length or cut it and be patient enough for the healthy hair to flourish. Just cut it.Almost every style will look bad with janky ends: wash and gos, twist outs, and perm rod sets will expose that a** and your dusty ends.

Healthy Hair is NOT Heat Damaged

If I was shady (I mean I am but even my petty knows SOME bounds) I would screenshot and post all of the heat damaged wash and gos that I see stuntin' on the gram, at the mall, and on YouTube. I'm not the natural hair police so do what you do BUT I often wonder if these people knew how bomb their style would be after a good heat rehab. I have endured heat damage before and when I attempted a wash and go I had the most crispity, crunchity, dead to the bed, and limp and lifeless curls. Moral of the story: transition out of that damage with some cute rod sets and THEN try your hand at a wash and go.

Honestly my hair is the healthiest that it has been  since I returned natural and that is why my wash and go styles have been flourishing.